Who is Forgiveness for, THEM or YOU?

I keep seeing posts around forgiveness, and that forgiveness of others is not necessary for your healing.

I personally believe that forgiveness is necessary for your healing. 

The big part of this equation is that:

• Forgiveness does not mean that you condone their behavior, actions, or words. 

• Forgiveness does not mean that you should allow any of their inappropriate behavior, actions, or words again.

• Forgiveness does not mean that we go back to the same routines and dysfunctional relationship behaviors.  

• Forgiveness does mean that you should maintain boundaries for your own well being.

• Forgiveness is all about letting go of the stress that the hurt and the anger cause within you, so that you can have peace. 

When you think of what they have done, and your body and mind end up stressed, that stress is not hurting them. They are quite likely not even aware that you are angry or hurt. 

The stress is only hurting you.

You are not condoning, you are forgiving so you can have peace. Maybe we can just call it letting go and creating boundaries rather than forgiveness; perhaps that would feel better to some people. 

I have seen some pretty amazing forgiveness and letting go moments in my practice.