The Absorption Factor

We can have siblings that grew up in the same household as we did, that have a totally different recollection of how things were growing up. That is because each of us had our own personal relationships with, and perceptions of, each individual in the household, and all of the personal interactions within that household. We are like little sponges when we are young, just absorbing everything that is happening to us and around us. 

From the early interactions with and the influences from the family members that we grew up with, we create beliefs in our minds, about ourselves, about life and about relationships. We may carry these beliefs, whether they are actually true or not, through our entire lives. These beliefs may just be something that we have taken on from others around us, or a belief that we created in our very young minds when we didn’t know any better. 

The things that kids can take in and misunderstand can be so very simple. For example my three year old granddaughter was sitting on my lap helping me play a game with her grandpa. She was drawing tiles for me to play and she kept drawing really good tiles for me. I said a couple of times while we were playing “I think I’m going to keep you” me, meaning that she was my good luck charm because she was drawing such good tiles for me. Well a couple of days later she asked her mom, quite concerned, if I was going to keep her. (not as in keep her and she not live with her mom and dad, but she had misunderstood my statements and was concerned. She wanted to make sure that I was going to keep her as my granddaughter and in my family.) 

It is that simple for a child to misunderstand the context or intention of our words or actions and create beliefs that get stuck in their subconscious minds sometimes for life. She had obviously gone over my words, in her thoughts and in her young mind got stuck on the  “I think”, rather than feeling secure that I would always keep her and love her.

Even though we never intend to cause doubt or ill feelings; we  just never know how someone else perceives our words or actions. 

As children and even young adults, we learn from what is being portrayed around us.

Sometimes what we learn or take on as a belief, is neither true for us then, or later in life or beneficial for our lives, but it gets stuck.

How many adults, and children are told that they can’t do something, and take it on as their truth. They go through life never even attempting it because they think they are not good enough. My dad was told by a teacher in elementary school that he couldn’t sing. He was always a music lover, but never sang much. When he was in his 70’s he was asked to join the church choir and thoroughly enjoyed it.

What kind of beliefs do you have based on things that were said or done, to or around you growing up, or even as an adult? What have you hung on to and what would you like to let go of?