Regain Your Clarity
In my work, I often find direct correlations to issues that are happening in my clients' lives in the present, to things that happened in their pasts (most often in their early developmental years). We are often not even aware of how much those early interactions affect us or shape who we become.
Everything that we experienced, good and bad, leaves an imprint within the subconscious mind.
When we experience something similar later in life, our subconscious automatically checks to see how we reacted the last time this or something similar happened. We react or act in the present based on the information stored in our subconscious, from our past experiences. Our subconscious always believes that it is acting in our best interest and only wants to protect us.
Imagine learning to drive, we practice stopping at the red lights and proceeding at the green lights. We have to logically think about this when we first start (using the conscious mind which is 15% of the mind), and then eventually we just automatically stop at the red and go on the green, retrieving what we have learned automatically from the unconscious mind (the other 85%) without even having to think about.
What if as a small child when someone yelled at us, we shut down, (became quiet and withdrawn) because we were filled with fear, and we just wanted them to stop yelling. As a child we want them to love and accept us and not reject us from the tribe. This tribe is our family, our safe place, providing food and shelter at the very minimum.
What if as an adult, you still react the same way, as soon as someone starts to raise their voice to you? That automatic recall of your childhood experience and that memory of how you acted, or reacted in this situation in the past is triggered. You may automatically freeze, responding as if you were that child. You are quite likely thinking that “If I am quiet, they will quit yelling and I will be safe.” The fear and stress response in your body causes you to freeze and your logical mind freezes as well. You may develop a pattern of freezing and never standing up for yourself when someone raises their voice towards you, or in some cases even around you.
This is how we sometimes get stuck, doing the same thing over and over again, feeling frustrated and sometimes overwhelmed. If we can work through the emotional attachments and beliefs that we created, based on that childhood trauma, it is possible to regain your clarity so that you can speak your truth in a calm manner, with grace and love. You can regain your confidence so that you can react and act as an adult rather than as a fearful child.